So let's say you meet, or already know, someone great. Your personalities match, they meet most of the points on your list, and heck you just happen to have a good time with them. You begin to think that if all continues to go well, this may be the next person (for some, first) you attempt a real, live adult relationship with. You know, that thing you've been talking about with your friends. "Girl, I just want a man that I can blah, blah, blah..." Well, the opportunity is here now. What do you do? Do you join his/her team and together plow through obstacles? Or do you do what most people do when a great opportunity presents itself: play defense?
I'm guilty. I play defense. My methods: I try to find something wrong. And I also flat out run. I become less available. Instead of cutting others off, I date them more. We all have our things that we do. We make excuses because either we're not really ready for what we say we are or we just don't want to be happy. I think the worst is when we recognize our defense mechanisms and we carry them as a badge of honor. I dated a dude who always talked about how he had the tendency to date great women but he could never treat them right. It was as if he was bragging. I was thankful for the warning but how about we try to combat the issue instead? Small steps are okay. I'm definitely working on mine. When I subconsciously say things that can be identified as defensive, I identify it. I immediately try to counter my thoughts. I always say that my heart wants to love but my mind always talks me out it. I'm making effort to change that. You should too. It just might make you really happy.
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